mothering, counselling, personal growth, domestic violence, counseling, stay at home Mum, writing, reading, books, children, personal development

Ta Dah! It's me!

Howdy folks!

If you're here for the first time, you might want to know a bit more about me. Or even if you've visited a few times, you still might want to know more. In Blogland and in life, I generally tend to let bits of me slip out rather slowly. For a change, here are lots of bits of me.....all at once.

I love Neil Diamond's Chelsea Morning.
I woke up this morning and the first thing that I knew...
And the light poured in like butterscotch
And stuck to all my senses
Won't you stay
We'll put on the day
And we'll talk in present tenses
Speaking in present tenses, and luxuriating in what's right here and now. Love it!

I love peace and still. But seldom truly get it nowadays.

I simply don't function in the morning. Nope. Not at all.

I'm organised for Christmas by April. May on a really bad year. But every morning is a disastrous surprise to me, full of unexpected dilemmas. Like needing to feed the children.

I love new clothes, but hate shopping and the price of new clothes. Mostly I do Op Shops, eBay or TradeMe.

We have three girls: Ten, Seven and Five. I 'attached' to them with Attachment Parenting when they were small. Meeting their needs, whilst managing my own, brought its mares of course. But I signed up for all night vigils when I stepped up for parenting, and mostly I was up for the consequences of the parenting style we chose. But now! Sibling rivalry, squabbling and war is the theme of daily life. It's not new, but I'm still surprised by it. A bit like mornings. I'm trying to adjust my expectations, and realise that for someone who really doesn't even notice sport, I need to be a referee.

A earlier chapter of my life was shaped by miscarriages. Ten arrived with wonderous ease, well the conception was anyway. Then four babes slipped away before Seven arrived, and then another two before Five. Grief from that chapter lives in my heart. And technicolour memories of how small and urgent the world of a woman needing to conceive can become.

A much earlier chapter was shaped by an unhappy marriage where control, violence and anger turned up too, too many times. After 7 1/2 years, need propelled me out the door one Saturday afternoon, and I never found my way back. I've written about Domestic Violence a few times.

And mine is now a Life Without Mathematics. The early part of my life found me trying hard, so hard to make it all fit and make it all add up. Consistency and a life without hypocrisy drove me to follow The Right Thing in a slavish way. Not now. Now I see inconsistencies everywhere, and in them I see the richness and complexity of being truly and deeply human. Someone wise once suggested that if we can surrender obedience to the black and white aspects of life, then we can find the rainbow in between. It's rainbow for me everytime now!

Welcome! Do you live in the clear-cut straightforward world I sometimes envy, or are you with me in the rainbow?

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