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Friday, September 16, 2011

Fabulous Fours

I'm just loving our Four, who's just recently become Five as it happens.

I'm loving all her capability, and her capacity. Capacity for the full spectrum of emotions, richly experienced. Love, and joy, delight and anger. She's got it all there, in lavish quantities, and she mostly has awareness about where she's at with that array of emotions, and why.

And yet she's also full of fresh, unfettered naivety and insight.

There are stories that are hers that I could share, but right now I'm just chuckling so much over this one, that I have to share it. While it's not her, it is a story of Four. And so it's a story of capability, capacity, and naivety. 

Five is in the process of preparing for school next year. There have been a number of warming up sessions to allow the littlies to meet other future fellow 'Preps' and possible teachers. This environment, overflowing with gentle uncertainty, excitement and many, many new faces and names, cooked up this train of thought for one of Five's transitioning to school buddies. After experiencing a couple of Transition sessions, Mr. Five said to his Mum, "I don't have room in my head for all the names." Then he turned to his little sister and said, "Your name's gotta go!
It's not a complex story, but it has found a lingering place in my heart. I've chuckled and mused over it for the last day and a bit. I see so much capability in there. Mr. Five is really not that fazed by the new environment. Actually, he's well up Maslow's hierarchy of survival needs. He's no longer concerned with the setting, or how he's feeling. He's on to conquering it all, and gaining as much mastery as he can. And there's capacity in there. He's worked it all out, and is expressing it all quite succinctly. He's identified a problem, almost instantly evaluated his options, and came up with a solution. And then, of course, there's naivety! Sisters, clearly and totally transparently, are well down on his priority list of what's important. And so....gone! The Mum turned to me, wryly grinned after telling me the story, and winked as she said, "I'm expecting I'll be next!"
When a story captures my heart, I tend to see it as holding a gem of insight for me and my life. I love Mr. Five's capability and capacity: he is coping so admirably with the transition, and yet still possesses such refreshing naivety. I love the gentle but firm focus he has on his needs, and his awareness of the path that will best allow him to survive with ease. 
My take-ways from Mr Five are to try to consciously remediate the capability in my life.  Moving into the adult world mostly means being able to capably and competently navigate our way round the world of things and experiences. Capability, for the most part, just isn't the big hooray it is for pre-schoolers. And, of course, that's normal and right. However, I'm seeing that adult capability can come at a cost. My capability has come, in part, through existing in a safer spectrum of emotions. Not so much variation and unpredictability as Five, but not so much richness and intensity either. However, I hunger for greater release in my emotions. Hunger for them to flow in my life as dynamically and variably as I see Five experience hers. I'm also thinking about naivety, which also tends to be forfeited as we passage more solidly into adult existence. Adults who axe the sisters in our lives as freely as Mr. Five just don't have lives of rewarding relationships to nurture them. So I'm not hungering for that. However, I sure could do with the ability to listen more to what I truly need, and confidently allow myself to meet those needs.  
What are your reactions to Mr. Five? How do you experience your emotions? What are your growth goals?
 image source


  1. Ha! Hilarious. Read this one out to Mr Karen sitting next to me.
    We're going through our transition to prep at the moment too. Exciting times.

  2. "However, I sure could do with the ability to listen more to what I truly need, and confidently allow myself to meet those needs."

    I'm reading this great book called, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup, M.D. who actually addresses women's emotions and how releasing them is very healing to the body. That we get ourselves into trouble physically when we hold back or suppress. Children inherently know how to do this. Our culture and tribe teaches us how to deny those emotions.

    Your son's reaction to his new adventure of schooling is very sweet. I love his confidence and honesty about not having "enough room in my head for the names". He'll get it for sure... and hopefully remember to put his sister's back in there as well. ;)

    As for my growth goals, I'd say that this year, I'd like to live honestly with my emotions. To honor them as they arise and sit with the uncomfortableness of them for a while. Then, like you, ponder about what they are wanting to teach me... so I might learn and grow.

    Great post!

  3. Great quote. I love it that she sees that the knowledge of what we truly need is in us, and that we simply need to 'allow' ourselves to meet those needs. Beautiful. And true I think. I've found that allowing my mother-heart to grow, as it has through the years of nurturing our children, has created a source of inner nurture that wasn't in me as a younger adult.

    Now to listen to that mother-heart and engage in self-nurture more!

    I love your growth goals, and I love it that in the huge cyber-world it's possible to sniff out others who are journeying on the same path. I find that quite amazing!

  4. Karen: How tricky that we both are transitioning to the Prep year. I can't say I've found that it gets easier with repetition (Five is our third to start). However, I can say I am looking forward to the depth of connection it's possible to establish with other Mums of Preps. It's a lovely year for meeting new, lovely Mums. (I suggest overloading on new connections if you can, since there's just not the same opportunity once they hit the Grades.)

  5. I'm enjoying catching up with all your posts, can you tell?! lol Again I am reading this and taking notes about what to expect (as if it's that simple!) when mine are 4 and 5. LOL @ "your name's gotta go!".


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