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Monday, August 1, 2011

Anxiety

 
Phew! Made it through that weekend.

Are your weekends sometimes much harder work than your regular weekdays?

Drawing near to this weekend had my heart overflowing with dread. Friday night and Saturday were all set to be a whirlwind fury that would lift us all sky-high and then dump us earthward sometimes around nightmare tea time on Saturday.

As I think back on it now, I can't find the anxiety I carried in my chest approaching the whirlwind. Thinking of how it will seem to you, I become aware of how I could have just switched on to cruise-setting and floated through it. But instead, I had a palpable band of tension all through my body and nagging, unsettling apprehension in my mind. Anxiety is like that.

The main event was to be a Calisthenics Competition for Seven and Four on Saturday. Starting at 8.15. To be there with two girls already with hair and foundation on would mean getting up at 6.15. Ouch! Non-morning person that I am, that small detail was the source of most of my anxiety. Topping it off was the need to surrender the girls' kit to the coaches who were to take responsibility for changing 40-something sub-seven year olds in and out of 5 costumes. Another ouchy. The possibility that I might cause someone else distress and difficulty really worried me, and I felt a lot of pressure to get things just right. My anxiety here really was quite unwarranted, since the club had amazingly created such an organised system for managing all the costumes that it would have required active sabotage to muck it up. However, anxious I was. Though it was unwarranted. Anxiety is like that.

The short as I can make it, unembroidered, story of the day is it all went well. Very well. 6.15 beeped loudly, and obediently I clambered out of bed. Four and Seven were adrenalin-pumped, and eagerly helpful. Nothing could have gone any better. 8.16 we arrived. Amazingly ontime. Competition started on time. All the items rolled by, and the girls both did as well as they have ever done. Lots of mother pride, accompanied by ever deepening sighs as each costume change went by and was dilemma-free.

Competition finished at 2 and off we trekked to a 2.30 roller-skating party that Seven could not miss out on. Roller-skating has massive currency power for seven year olds. Of course, it wasn't at all close by. Not half an hour drive, but more like 40 minutes. With traffic complications, all reactivating my anxiety, it was 3 when we delivered her to the party. Of course the lovely mother-hostess was quite relaxed and not at all fazed by our late arrival. Really the party hadn't properly started till 2.45, so we were hardly late at all. So, all was OK there too. Except in my tum. Anxiety is like that.

Turned out the emotional forecast I'd held for most of the week was wrong. Quite wrong. As forecasts are. The whirlwind fury that was to lift us all sky-high and then dump us earthward sometimes around nightmare tea time on Saturday turned out to be an almost pleasant washing-flapping breeze. Not a restful experience, but one that got good things happening. Not a fury, and not worth getting in a pickle. Anxiety is like that.

Do you get in a pickle about things that don't warrant it?

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PS Thank you Jane over at  Life on Planet Baby for your tips about how to include a signature.What do you think my new addition?

PPS When I located the image I liked for today's posting, I had a LOL moment. The site is designed to support students to reduce anxiety....Math anxiety! "Math anxiety cripples many students, and their families.It becomes an ongoing cycle: anxiety cripples our ability to think - and the one thing you need to succeed in math is an ability to think." How perfectly fitting for me here at lifewithoutmathematics!

2 comments:

  1. I completely relate. I'm normally pretty relaxed, but give me a social occasion with multiple possible scenarios (like my son's 5th birthday party) and I work myself into a lather. Even though I know things ALWAYS work out. Anxiety is like that. Completely illogical.

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  2. Oh hosting birthday parties is a beaut cause of anxiety! Ingredients destined to push my anxious button are the unfamiliar, and being responsible for someone else. That covers lots of stuff relating to the children. Oh dear!

    You're right. Illogical. But it seems to happen. Anxiety does seem to be like that.

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