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Friday, July 1, 2011



And Fathers.

But just Mothers today.

What marathon capacity we have for love and tenacity. And for tenacity. On and on we manage to go. Sleepless nights, rejected meals, tetchy difficult children. Yet on and on we go.

A rather beautiful moment en route from school reminded me of the deep bonds that mothering has created between us all. And of the utterly mystifying tenacity that we are capable of. All of us have been utterly transformed through our experiences of this topsy turvy journey in pursuit of Family.

Before children I simply never imagined how utterly I would be transformed. Some women I knew had experienced tragedies. I simply never imagined that most of us would experience something that would change us forever. Infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy trauma, still birth, trauma in birth, SIDS, colicky babies in pain…and too, too many other tragedies.

So yesterday, as Four and I fell into step with Mum pushing a jolly, round and yumptious 6 month old, our conversation naturally wandered round all those good topics that newish babies prompt. Sleep, teething, sleep, colds, sleep. Mother needs and mother frustrations. And in that way that our faces tell stories we don’t know they’re telling, soon we both knew that we had journeyed many of the same paths.

For us, it was the miscarriage journey.

And how quickly then our connection grew and deepened. Our walk had long arrived at our gate, but we talked more. And then more. And then more. Though, in the end, the truly connecting part of the conversation was probably no more than maybe 10 minutes, as we reached parting time, we hugged with teary eyes, and knew that we each knew more of the other’s pain than either of us would ever have envisaged before the pursuit of Family.

Have you been transformed by mothering, or by life?

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