mothering, counselling, personal growth, domestic violence, counseling, stay at home Mum, writing, reading, books, children, personal development

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Last Minute Nellie


 
Oh dear. Adrenalin rush.

A full dress rehearsal for Seven and Four this afternoon. But. Right now their Calisthenics costumes are unsequined and unfeatherboaed where sequins and boas ought to be.

I can hear my Mother’s exasperated voice, “Why do you leave it all to the last minute?’
Why indeed?

You’d think that after, splutter, 40 something years of this old life that I’d have worked out that last minute rushing is not the only way to do things.

Mum would certainly say it’s no good for those around me.

And yet I do it. Always. Every single morning, it’s like a new revelation to me that the children do need to get ready to go to school. Lunch boxes do need to be assembled. Shoes will be lost and will need to be found. Every morning there are fresh horrifying realizations about disorganization that raspberry me and taunt me for my frantic fluffing.

However. I just can’t seem to get reprogrammed.

It has bewildered me, in a vague way, since I guess I would reprogramme if it truly bothered me.

And then some this article shed some light on my behaviour. And maybe yours too? Have you also thought of yourself as a Last Minute Nellie or Ned? Have a read.

Well! Let’s surrender our hair shirts and self-deprecation. It seems we’re “Incubators”. I am just loving that! An incubator! I might have thought of myself as an incubator when bulgingly pregnant, but I have never thought of my last minute energy bursts in that way. Or so positively. I have long seen that externals motivate me, and have thought badly of myself for that. Shallow, I’ve thought of myself. Cleaning frenzies just before visitors. Really. Shallow.

But no! It seems being energized by externals is legitimate. Yay! And now, wait. There’s even more good news:
“…the researcher says some people who put off work until the last minute aren't procrastinators at all. Rather, they're incubators who flourish under external pressure.
They need that last-minute deadline to fire them up to produce their best.
While incubators may often appear idle, just like procrastinators, under the surface their minds are preparing for the task at hand.
Then, when they are finally forced into action, their work is of superior quality.”
Did you get that bit? Superior quality.

Oh! Purr! I’m liking that! Lots!

Oh. I also get the bit about needing to catch everyone else around me up to speed with the last minute fluffing, rushing adrenalin frenzies. And about how it can anger others. Poor Nine certainly does get angry with morning panic. So it’s not a functional way to operate when others are impacted.

But it’s a darned good way to deal to sequins and boas.


What about you? Are you internally or externally motivated? Do you value one more than the other?

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mothering, counselling, personal growth, domestic violence, counseling, stay at home Mum, writing, reading, books, children, personal development

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