mothering, counselling, personal growth, domestic violence, counseling, stay at home Mum, writing, reading, books, children, personal development

Friday, July 8, 2011

Fearful Friday

Do you know what?

I think it’s time to say, you probably do know me.

You may live next door to me. You probably hear a lot of me, from time to time, and probably quite a bit more of my man, from time to time. Weekends can often be the worst. It’s not comfortable for you to hear. Actually, you just don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s all just too loud. And too frantic. And well, too real sounding. Yelling for sure. Maybe crashing. Maybe crying. It really doesn’t sound like the TV. And what does it mean you are supposed to do?

But then, you see us in the garden the next day, or heading out to the Supermarket, and we seem to be smiling, and we seem normal enough. So. That’s OK then. And anyway, there can be long chapters where there’s nothing out of the ordinary. Even more reassuring. There’s really nothing to worry about, and all that noise. Well. Who knows what people get up to?

So, you see, you do know me. You’ve probably lived next door to me. You’d never really have known for sure. I kept good secrets.

Or maybe you are me.

It’s a dark, shameful, nightmarish secret kept by far, far too many of us.

It was my secret for seven and a half years. I never thought my secret would come to an end, but it did in 1997. And now I’ve got a life with no shadows, and no secrets, and, for the most part, that other life is distant and hazy. However, when I woke last night with restless hormones, and lay there tossing and turning, I remembered Thursday nights. And the dread. And the fear.

And I was reminded that when I started this blog, I wanted to tell my story of Domestic Violence. I wanted to do something to lift some shame for someone. But I wasn’t sure really if I could. Or of how I would go about it. But last night it came to me. Fearful Friday. On Fridays, I plan to try and sit with my memories, and with ideas relating to domestic violence.Because the weekends can really be something to fear and dread.

And through lifting some of the shame just a little more, maybe you, or someone you know, might begin to know there can be an end to the secret.

There can be a life of hope and light.

Phone: 13 11 14 (cost of local call from landline)

If you're a blogger, please feel free to join me on Fearful Friday. You may have your own story to tell. Or you may want to draw on the content of my postings. Take my button from the side bar, and include a link back to my posting.
If we join forces and building community, we may help some women to begin strengthening themselves. 

mothering, counselling, personal growth, domestic violence, counseling, stay at home Mum, writing, reading, books, children, personal development


  1. Thank you for sharing your heart on this. It's very brave and I love you for it. Violence was a part of my life for 14 years but apart of my mothers life for over 40 years. The impact it has had on us has been huge. Every area of normal life is affected even when out from under the person and we often have to start new ways of thinking inside our minds at different stages of life's journey for years to come. Make sense? When I got married, I had to deal once again with the memories and pain and start again, when I had children...same process. My father died, new process to start. Getting out from under the violence and breaking the silence is the first step and people need help and support....but the journey with them does not end there. There are so many steps to take with becoming free from the shame. Open your ears and open your eyes to people today, whether they are still in the shadow or whether they are out. Love on them in action :-)

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I think you are remarkably resilient for all you've been through. There are many layers and chapters in the healing process. I can hear that you have experienced that. Help and support is certainly necessary for women who are still in violent situations, but support is also important for those of us who are in the process of long-term healing. I can hear you are aware of that when you say the journey doesn't end there. I hope you have support as you journey through new chapters in your life. If you are in Australia, you may find some good support here: Violence Against Women, Australian Says No (Specialises in Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault counseling and referrals) - 1800 200 526. Please do contact me via further comments or by email if I can be of any further support.


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